Hi Carl, thank you so much for thinking of me. I am late in posting this month and I didn't really expect anyone to notice, so it is actually a compliment to know that a reader is missing my writing!
I'm definitely ok, but I have been having a harder time in the last five weeks since the last newsletter. We've covered a lot of miles, from southwestern New Mexico to Northern California and all the traveling has disrupted my writing routine. But it has given me a lot to write about! Working on something new that I hope to send out soon. Thank you 💛
I love the three acts, but I focused on " Melancholia " one, and in this case, I´m talking as a former depressed guy in his twenties, let me tell you, for me it was terrible and the most horrible state a man or a woman could ever get. I don´t want to talk about it anymore, but I love your narrative, and it was very assertive. In the meantime, I was listening to the podcast. Congratulations, but the fact that I didn´t watch the TV show or movie Melancholia starring Kirsten Dunst has now turned on my profound interest in watching it.
Oh, how I love reading these and hearing your voice! Your writing never ceases to stop me in my tracks, and fill my heart to the brim with emotion. I (and I’m sure all of your subscribers) feel genuinely lucky to get a chance to peek into your life, your mind, your experiments. Love you!!!
PS - The doppelgänger similarities are never ending - my childhood fear of heights has only become more crippling in adulthood. Using you as inspiration and motivation to eventually conquer that fear! xx
Oh no! I forgot that you are cursed with the same fear. (It may be genetic, passed down from Penny and maybe generations before her!)
The hypnotherapy is really helping. It is definitely not a cure, but I do feel less of a sense of panic in some situations.
We were just at Canyon de Chelly in Arizona and I was able to look down into a 1000 foot deep canyon without dying. I felt really proud of myself! But I felt irrationally scared in the parking lot which wasn't even near the cliff. So, it's a process. I am encouraged so far.
It means so much to me that you read/listen to my stories. And I love hearing from you.
I love seeing your new name in print. It's a beautiful name. ❤️
Tina, I so look forward to your updates! I've been a reader since the Modern Love column, and following along the gentle journey of living your life day by day is a great source of hope for me! Thank you for taking us along your beautiful world (your descriptions are literature-worthy)!!
Grateful to have found you and your work, Tina! I was supposed to be heading to Gila NF & Taos, but some unexpected weather changed my plans. I love how you wrote about life being an experiment, I couldn't agree more. Thanks for sharing about yours. ♡
HI Niquelle! Was it the wind that changed your plans? It's crazy here right now. 79mph at our campsite yesterday. My husband got me an anemometer for my birthday. I'm obsessed with wind lol.
If you make it through this area in the next two weeks, I hope you can stop by City of Rocks on your way to the Gila!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I look forward to following your journey.
PS I absolutely love the name "A Frond, Unfurling." Makes me thing of when I used to live in New England, and in Spring our yard was full of fiddleheads, unfurling.
Best of luck to you in your travels, in this "experiment" we're doing.
Oh yes, the wind was surely a factor. Also the temps - our rig doesn't have heat 🥶. Having an anemometer sounds really neat! Plus, the big cup ones are so fun to look at (though I'm guessing you have something more streamlined). I'm still hopeful we'll visit in the near future, it all looks so enchanting. Cheers to seeing how this experiment continues to unfold!
P.S. Thank you! I love that connection. New England is a charming place, I grew up in NY and was fortunate to have many adventures throughout.
Those stunning skies radiating blue made me think of Christopher ~ he, too is everywhere. I loved when you wrote that. I love, too, when we take our great loss and it helps us throw caution to the wind. Xo
Thank you Sally. I know what you mean about the blue skies. Something about the vastness of the skies out here take me away from the mundane thoughts of everyday life and make me feel connected to what is REAL, which is that life is so much bigger than what we can understand.
I appreciate knowing that you understand these feelings, thank you for being here 💛
“I’m a Bertoli-assed bitch” 🤣🤣🤣. I’m dying. So good. I love that you guys are hiking everyday!! These pictures of the table mountain against the dark skies are so stunning. I live for a sunny day with the darkest of skies. Enjoy the posole and I can’t wait to hear more.
Thank you Lyns! I'm so glad you appreciated that line. When I heard it I knew it was gold. Yes to sun and dark skies together. Thanks so much for reading and being here 💛
Tina I kid you not my roommate asked me to buy spaghetti sauce two nights ago and thanks to this post you can probably guess how that conversation went lol 🤣
Tina - I feel like I'm there with you hiking, watching the brown golf course, enjoying posole, and seeing the beauty you observe in the people around you. I'm going to start referring to myself as a grief-assed bitch.
Tina - This post is an experiment! Brava! I believe in the mountain, vibrant street art in the desert, the color of the sky, and you. Keep climbing...Peace and love from NYC...xocj
Christa, I took a bunch of photos of murals in Silver City specifically with you in mind! I was thinking "Oh, Christa will love this!" (Of course ever-hopeful that my favorite readers will continue to read!) But sadly I could not fit all the pictures in this story. Substack kept telling me my post was "too long for email."
Thanks so much for believing in all of it. I love hearing from you. 💛
I waited a while to read this hoping to be in a better place so I could enjoy it. Hoping my teeth, aching from clenching my jaw at night would stop hurting (they have); hoping that the knot under my scapula would relax and stop hurting (it did). So finally I opened up your post and what a joy! I might have shucked off my anxiety sooner had I read this. I love the free form, style at the beginning - I feel like I'm there with you, feeling your feelings, meeting the desert and embracing it and the hardscrabble people who live there, too. I love hearing how you are overcoming a pernicious fear of heights. I love it all. It reminds me that it's okay to write little short things about what's going on inside and it's okay to share them and that you might touch someone else's ravaged psyche by doing that. You might help them feel calmer and more centered.
Keep being an expository-assed bitch. I'm going out on limb here but I think it's good for all of us.
Dear Pamela, your comment hit me hard, as I know what it is like to be in that state you describe, to feel the pain of a "ravaged psyche."
I am so gratified to know that you enjoyed this post and how it made you feel. Nothing could be a bigger compliment than knowing you were touched in that way.
I like what you said about knowing it's ok to write "little short things" and share them. I am experimenting with that. There are no rules. I started writing because I thought it would help ME – the idea that it helps others has been a revelation and a joy. We ALL have the ability to help others with our stories. Thanks so much for reading, and writing 💛
I know what you mean about being surprised that other people read the writing and it helps them somehow. I used to write about my athletic endevors on a blog back when blogs were the only social media we had. I was never not shocked when someone saw my post as an inspiration because there's not much inspirational about my athletic prowess. There's nothing like making people feel good to make me feel good. So now we can be feelgood-assed bitches. Hell yes!
I love your missives, your observations and your stunning example of how to do the hardest thing. You’re traveling without a map but possibly making a map for others.
Thank you so much Leslie! I started writing here only thinking it was a way to help myself, and the connection to others has been the most surprising and gratifying aspect. Your comment is so encouraging to me. Sometimes I feel like this writing is too hard! But it's always worth it in the end. Thank you for being here 💛
I sense you putting some distance between the moment, and some feelings. Sometimes we do this; sometimes we go outside, climb a mountain, breathe clean air, marvel at an impossibly blue sky. Notice dust, with curiosity. Notice THINGS… out there, outside ourselves. What a backdrop of space, and freedom, and choice. Not everything has to be carried all the time- at least not consciously. I’m very grateful you have this. There’s something about a blue sky, in an expansive area, that gives us a chance to unplug from “human” and plug into “an element”. I hope to see you this summer, when we can enjoy the more temperate sky too!
Hi Sheryl, it is always great to get your perspective. I know what you mean, the relief of getting outside ourselves. The natural world here makes me feel small, but in the best way. 39-million year old rocks give me perspective on the significance of my own life. Thank you so much for reading! I hope to see you too – we'll be there in Aug and most of Sept. 💛
Missing your writing, Tina. Hope you’re ok.
Hi Carl, thank you so much for thinking of me. I am late in posting this month and I didn't really expect anyone to notice, so it is actually a compliment to know that a reader is missing my writing!
I'm definitely ok, but I have been having a harder time in the last five weeks since the last newsletter. We've covered a lot of miles, from southwestern New Mexico to Northern California and all the traveling has disrupted my writing routine. But it has given me a lot to write about! Working on something new that I hope to send out soon. Thank you 💛
I love the three acts, but I focused on " Melancholia " one, and in this case, I´m talking as a former depressed guy in his twenties, let me tell you, for me it was terrible and the most horrible state a man or a woman could ever get. I don´t want to talk about it anymore, but I love your narrative, and it was very assertive. In the meantime, I was listening to the podcast. Congratulations, but the fact that I didn´t watch the TV show or movie Melancholia starring Kirsten Dunst has now turned on my profound interest in watching it.
Oh, how I love reading these and hearing your voice! Your writing never ceases to stop me in my tracks, and fill my heart to the brim with emotion. I (and I’m sure all of your subscribers) feel genuinely lucky to get a chance to peek into your life, your mind, your experiments. Love you!!!
PS - The doppelgänger similarities are never ending - my childhood fear of heights has only become more crippling in adulthood. Using you as inspiration and motivation to eventually conquer that fear! xx
Oh no! I forgot that you are cursed with the same fear. (It may be genetic, passed down from Penny and maybe generations before her!)
The hypnotherapy is really helping. It is definitely not a cure, but I do feel less of a sense of panic in some situations.
We were just at Canyon de Chelly in Arizona and I was able to look down into a 1000 foot deep canyon without dying. I felt really proud of myself! But I felt irrationally scared in the parking lot which wasn't even near the cliff. So, it's a process. I am encouraged so far.
It means so much to me that you read/listen to my stories. And I love hearing from you.
I love seeing your new name in print. It's a beautiful name. ❤️
Our driveway beckons, our Red Rocks await
Let’s share our diverse lunacies over some grilled salmon and a hot tub.
❤️
Can't wait!!!!!!! Sounds lovely. ❤️
I love reading about your evolution. Thank you, Tina
Tina, I so look forward to your updates! I've been a reader since the Modern Love column, and following along the gentle journey of living your life day by day is a great source of hope for me! Thank you for taking us along your beautiful world (your descriptions are literature-worthy)!!
Thank you so much Marianna! I am so pleased to have you here, thanks for reading.
❤️❤️❤️
Grateful to have found you and your work, Tina! I was supposed to be heading to Gila NF & Taos, but some unexpected weather changed my plans. I love how you wrote about life being an experiment, I couldn't agree more. Thanks for sharing about yours. ♡
HI Niquelle! Was it the wind that changed your plans? It's crazy here right now. 79mph at our campsite yesterday. My husband got me an anemometer for my birthday. I'm obsessed with wind lol.
If you make it through this area in the next two weeks, I hope you can stop by City of Rocks on your way to the Gila!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I look forward to following your journey.
PS I absolutely love the name "A Frond, Unfurling." Makes me thing of when I used to live in New England, and in Spring our yard was full of fiddleheads, unfurling.
Best of luck to you in your travels, in this "experiment" we're doing.
Oh yes, the wind was surely a factor. Also the temps - our rig doesn't have heat 🥶. Having an anemometer sounds really neat! Plus, the big cup ones are so fun to look at (though I'm guessing you have something more streamlined). I'm still hopeful we'll visit in the near future, it all looks so enchanting. Cheers to seeing how this experiment continues to unfold!
P.S. Thank you! I love that connection. New England is a charming place, I grew up in NY and was fortunate to have many adventures throughout.
Finding your child ‘everywhere’ Yes, I know this feeling. Beautiful writing x
Thank you so much. I love your writing too. 💛
Those stunning skies radiating blue made me think of Christopher ~ he, too is everywhere. I loved when you wrote that. I love, too, when we take our great loss and it helps us throw caution to the wind. Xo
Thank you Sally. I know what you mean about the blue skies. Something about the vastness of the skies out here take me away from the mundane thoughts of everyday life and make me feel connected to what is REAL, which is that life is so much bigger than what we can understand.
I appreciate knowing that you understand these feelings, thank you for being here 💛
“I’m a Bertoli-assed bitch” 🤣🤣🤣. I’m dying. So good. I love that you guys are hiking everyday!! These pictures of the table mountain against the dark skies are so stunning. I live for a sunny day with the darkest of skies. Enjoy the posole and I can’t wait to hear more.
Thank you Lyns! I'm so glad you appreciated that line. When I heard it I knew it was gold. Yes to sun and dark skies together. Thanks so much for reading and being here 💛
Tina I kid you not my roommate asked me to buy spaghetti sauce two nights ago and thanks to this post you can probably guess how that conversation went lol 🤣
Tina - I feel like I'm there with you hiking, watching the brown golf course, enjoying posole, and seeing the beauty you observe in the people around you. I'm going to start referring to myself as a grief-assed bitch.
haha, a grief-assed bitch. That's a good one. Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed this one. 💛
Tina - This post is an experiment! Brava! I believe in the mountain, vibrant street art in the desert, the color of the sky, and you. Keep climbing...Peace and love from NYC...xocj
Christa, I took a bunch of photos of murals in Silver City specifically with you in mind! I was thinking "Oh, Christa will love this!" (Of course ever-hopeful that my favorite readers will continue to read!) But sadly I could not fit all the pictures in this story. Substack kept telling me my post was "too long for email."
Thanks so much for believing in all of it. I love hearing from you. 💛
Tina, Thank you for thinking of me on your adventures! I will always continue to read and to believe....💛 xoC
I waited a while to read this hoping to be in a better place so I could enjoy it. Hoping my teeth, aching from clenching my jaw at night would stop hurting (they have); hoping that the knot under my scapula would relax and stop hurting (it did). So finally I opened up your post and what a joy! I might have shucked off my anxiety sooner had I read this. I love the free form, style at the beginning - I feel like I'm there with you, feeling your feelings, meeting the desert and embracing it and the hardscrabble people who live there, too. I love hearing how you are overcoming a pernicious fear of heights. I love it all. It reminds me that it's okay to write little short things about what's going on inside and it's okay to share them and that you might touch someone else's ravaged psyche by doing that. You might help them feel calmer and more centered.
Keep being an expository-assed bitch. I'm going out on limb here but I think it's good for all of us.
Dear Pamela, your comment hit me hard, as I know what it is like to be in that state you describe, to feel the pain of a "ravaged psyche."
I am so gratified to know that you enjoyed this post and how it made you feel. Nothing could be a bigger compliment than knowing you were touched in that way.
I like what you said about knowing it's ok to write "little short things" and share them. I am experimenting with that. There are no rules. I started writing because I thought it would help ME – the idea that it helps others has been a revelation and a joy. We ALL have the ability to help others with our stories. Thanks so much for reading, and writing 💛
I know what you mean about being surprised that other people read the writing and it helps them somehow. I used to write about my athletic endevors on a blog back when blogs were the only social media we had. I was never not shocked when someone saw my post as an inspiration because there's not much inspirational about my athletic prowess. There's nothing like making people feel good to make me feel good. So now we can be feelgood-assed bitches. Hell yes!
I love your missives, your observations and your stunning example of how to do the hardest thing. You’re traveling without a map but possibly making a map for others.
Thank you so much Leslie! I started writing here only thinking it was a way to help myself, and the connection to others has been the most surprising and gratifying aspect. Your comment is so encouraging to me. Sometimes I feel like this writing is too hard! But it's always worth it in the end. Thank you for being here 💛
I sense you putting some distance between the moment, and some feelings. Sometimes we do this; sometimes we go outside, climb a mountain, breathe clean air, marvel at an impossibly blue sky. Notice dust, with curiosity. Notice THINGS… out there, outside ourselves. What a backdrop of space, and freedom, and choice. Not everything has to be carried all the time- at least not consciously. I’m very grateful you have this. There’s something about a blue sky, in an expansive area, that gives us a chance to unplug from “human” and plug into “an element”. I hope to see you this summer, when we can enjoy the more temperate sky too!
Hi Sheryl, it is always great to get your perspective. I know what you mean, the relief of getting outside ourselves. The natural world here makes me feel small, but in the best way. 39-million year old rocks give me perspective on the significance of my own life. Thank you so much for reading! I hope to see you too – we'll be there in Aug and most of Sept. 💛